Come on break it down for me
by KokoroHana
Summary: Since joining the human side, Mika has nightmares every night. One night Yuu is there for him to comfort him but the night doesn't turn out like he thought it would be...
1. Come on break it down for me

Mika woke up screaming.

Nightmares. Since he "joined" the JIDA a month ago, he had them every night. No. Actually he had them since he was turned into a vampire by Krul. But now they were getting worse. Back then all his nightmares were about his family. His family … which was killed by him. He re-experienced their death over and over again. And they always blamed him for that. In some of his dreams they even tried to kill him. But now he hadn't this kind of dreams anymore. His nightmares now were all about… Yuu. He didn't know if it was because he had drank his blood, but…

He always dreams how he's losing control over himself, attacks him and drinking too much of his blood. When he comes back to his senses, it is already too late. He killed him. He screams and cry and then… he wakes up.

Every night was the same: He goes to bed, falls asleep for an hour or two, has nightmares, wakes up and then he's too afraid to fall asleep again.

But today was the first time he also screamed in reality. He didn't have to worry about someone hearing him. Since he's a vampire they gave him a room in their base in Nagoya. He's not allowed to leave without permission. Of course Yuu wasn't happy about that, but if he hadn't obeyed they would have killed him. At least they didn't experiment on him. At least, not yet.

It wasn't a large room. He also didn't expect one. As a vampire to even get a room by the humans was already luxury. At least no one bothered him. They left him alone. Because of their fear or because they're were told to. It didn't matter to him. He didn't want to have anything to do with these humans. No one would look after him even if they had heard him screaming. And even if he would scream because of his nightmares every night, no one would come.

He always hoped that the nightmares would stop but they didn't. He didn't tell Yuu about that. He didn't want to bother him with his own problems. Every day he acted like everything's fine. He's a complete vampire now after all so a month without sleep was nothing for him. No one noticed. But he had to admit that he indeed felt weaker nowadays.

Slowly he calmed down again. He threw the blanket over his head, covering all of him with it and started to cry.

 _I have enough of that…I…I can't take this anymore… It's painful…I don't want this… anymore… I want it to stop…please…_

He cried for a few minutes. He really couldn't take it anymore to see Yuu die in front of him over and over again.

Suddenly the door was opened.

"Mika? Is everything alright?"

Yuu asked quietly with a worried voice after he closed the door behind him.

"…"

"Shinoa…came to me and said that…she heard you screaming. She was worried but didn't find the courage to look…after you…"

He said while moving closer to the bed until he stood in front of it.

"…"

"Mika…"

He reached out his hand to remove the blanket from his head to look at him but Mika backed away from him.

"Don't…don't come near me."

Yuu could tell from his voice that he must've cried. He withdrew his hand.

"Won't you tell me what's wrong?"

He asked while looking at him.

"…"

He waited a few seconds but didn't get an answer. Yuu sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. Neither of them said anything.

Mika didn't want to tell him and he didn't want him to come too close to him. He was afraid that he could hurt him. That his nightmares would become reality. He just wanted to be alone. Like he always was. It was unnecessary to bother someone else with problems that couldn't be solved anyway. That's what he thought.

"You're acting strange lately."

Yuu said suddenly. Mika was caught off guard.

 _He noticed?!_

He didn't expect him to notice. He made sure to behave normally and not to look exhausted. So…how did he notice?

"…"

"You know, I always know when something's wrong with you. And… I can always tell when you're pretending that everything's alright. I always know…when your smile is fake."

"…"

They remained silent for a while. Yuu wanted to know what's wrong with him and wanted to help him but he also knew that Mika could be very stubborn when it comes to telling others what's on his mind. But he didn't want to let up.

Even if it would had taken the whole night he would have waited for an answer.

"…nightmares…"

He heard him murmuring under the blanket. Mika didn't want to say it, it just slipped out.

"Huh?"

Yuu looked at him.

"…"

Mika knew that now that he had said something Yuu really wouldn't let up anymore so he decided to tell him.

"…I…have nightmares…since…I came here…every…night…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"…Didn't want to bother you…"

"You really thought that? You never bother me."

"…"

"…Are they about what happened four years ago?"

"…No…they're…"

He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell him. But it wouldn't made a difference if he knew it or not.

"…they're about…you…"

"Me?"

"…Yeah…"

He didn't know how to say it. It was already painful enough to think about it. He just couldn't find the words. But Yuu didn't urge him to tell him. He waited because he knew how difficult it was to talk about such things. After some time Mika spoke:

"…Every time I… see you die…and it's my fault…because…because I take too much of your blood…I…don't want that…anymore…I…I want it…to stop…"

Yuu could hear fear in his voice.

"Maybe…Maybe it would have been better if I…if I had just died…back then…"

"Don't say such things. It's okay for you to be alive."

"…"

Yuu sighed and moved closer to him, sitting now right in front of him.

"You really are an idiot. "Maybe it would have been better if I had just died back then" …"

He paused for a few seconds.

"I never thought that."

He reached out his hand, slowly removing the blanket from Mika's head.

This time Mika didn't reject him. They looked at each other. Yuu could see that he must have been crying a lot.

"It's okay for you to be alive. I…was really happy when I found out you're still alive. All those years…I've blamed myself for your death because…"

He averted his gaze.

"I left you there to die…"

"…"

"It's my fault that you were turned into a vampire but…"

Yuu looked at him while smiling.

"I don't care what you are. As long as you're alive I really don't care. For me you're still Mika. No matter if you're human or vampire. That doesn't change anything. And besides…I already told you, didn't I? If it's painful I'll definitely find a way to turn you back."

They looked into each other's eyes for a few seconds before Mika averted his gaze. It made him really happy that Yuu didn't mind him being a vampire and was still talking to him as if nothing had happened but he doubt that there really was a way to turn him back. Before he could say anything he was pulled into a hug.

"D-don't Yuu-Chan. If I lose control then-"

"I'm not afraid of you. And I'll never be."

"…"

"Don't worry. There's no way you could kill me. And even if you lose control over yourself someday and try to kill me, then I'm just going to hit you."

"…"

"I'm not going to leave you, Mika. We're family, so… I'll stay with you."

It wasn't like Mika didn't like to be embraced by him. He wasn't just used to that sudden closeness and he also wasn't used to Yuu doing that kind of thing. When they were kids Yuu always acted so…distant. He never was the type of doing something like that.

 _He… really changed…_

He slowly relaxed in his arms. Mika closed his eyes and hesitantly hugged him back. He enjoyed the warmth which was coming from him. It calmed him down and at the same time it gave him the feeling he missed so much all those years: The feeling of being needed and…loved by someone.

After remaining like this for a few minutes, Yuu assumed that Mika had finally calmed down.

"Feeling better n-"

As Yuu wanted to break the hug he noticed that Mika still had his arms wrapped around him and it didn't seem like he wanted to let go.

"Mika?"

He didn't get a response.

 _Hey, don't tell me he…_

All he could hear was his soft breathing.

 _He…fell asleep. Seriously?_

Yuu couldn't break free from his embrace.

 _Since when is he so damn clingy?_

… _Okay, when I think back he always was…_

As he tried to break free from his embrace Yuu somehow lost his balance and fell down on the bed, resulting in Mika landing on top of him.

… _Dammit…_

He looked at Mika who was still sleeping.

… _He's still sleeping, huh? Man, he's heavier than he looks like… If I don't wake him up I have to stay like this until tomorrow morning… And I definitely can't sleep like that!_

He was about to wake him up but he couldn't quite bring himself to.

… _I can't wake him up… It's the first time in…I don't know. Weeks? That he found some sleep. I guess I have to wait until he wakes up on his own…_

He stared at the ceiling.

 _At least I don't have to feel cold. He's…pretty warm…_

* * *

After a while Mika woke up. He opened his eyes and slowly lifted his head from Yuu's chest. Even though he slept for a little while he was still very tired. It took him a few seconds to even recognize that he was laying on top of him.

"Yuu-Chan?"

He said sleepily.

As he head his name, Yuu looked at him.

"Hey, you woke up?"

"…Yeah…"

"Nightmares?"

Mika shook his head. Yuu smiled at him. He was happy that at least he hadn't had any nightmares this time. But the fact that he still laid on top of him and he didn't seem to mind at all made him feel really uncomfortable.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"Would you… mind, you know, getting down from me?"

Mika looked at him sleepily for a few seconds before he laid his head on his chest again and closed his eyes.

"…Don't want to…"

"Hey! I'm not a pillow, you know?!"

"…But you're comfortable…"

"I can't sleep like that, Mika! Get. Down. From. Me!

"…Make me…"

He murmured.

 _Damn… He knows he's stronger than me… And besides…He still has his arms wrapped around me… I can't free myself on my own…_

"Seriously, get down from me!"

"…Yuu-Chan…I'm exhausted…Let me sleep…"

"I'll let you sleep as soon as you got down from me!"

"…I can sleep better like that…"

"Huh?"

"…It's the first time I…hadn't had any nightmares…I… just want to sleep… I promise I'll never do that again but… just…let me stay like this for tonight…okay?"

"…"

Yuu didn't know what to say. Mika never begged him for something before. It was unusual. He really couldn't sleep like that but he also didn't want him to have nightmares.

 _Well, at least I can try…_

"…Don't…tell Shinoa or the others…"

"…I won't… Thank you…"

They remained silent for a while. Yuu tried to fall asleep but he couldn't. He was just not used to sleep like that.

 _Maybe you can sleep better like that…But I can't… It's… uncomfortable._

"…Hey Mika, are you still awake?"

He asked quietly.

"…"

"Mika?"

"…"

He couldn't see if he was asleep or not. He looked at him for a few seconds.

Mika wasn't asleep. He slowly opened his eyes again as he heard him talking to him. Before he could tell Yuu to be quiet since he couldn't sleep when he's talking, he felt him touching his hair. He slightly flinched at his touch but Yuu didn't notice. Slowly, he ran his fingers through his hair. Over and over again.

He assumed that Mika had already fallen asleep since he hadn't said anything before. It wasn't like he planned to do that. He did it without even realizing what he was doing nor did he notice how he was turning slightly red right now. He would never admit it but…he liked touching his hair and he liked it even more to feel every single one of his strands between his fingers.

No matter how many times he repeated that Mika didn't reject him and every single time he relaxed even more by feeling his touch.

… _My face…feels like it's burning…and…I'm feeling strange…but I…don't dislike this… It makes me nervous but… It feels…nice…really…nice… Somehow…it really calms me down…_

He didn't say anything nor he did he move because he was afraid that Yuu would stop if he realized that he's awake. He just laid there on his chest while he could hear his heartbeat.

… _His heart…is beating unusually fast…Mine… is also…beating pretty fast…It won't stop racing… It feels strange… and it doesn't let me think straight anymore but… I…like this feeling… I…don't want this feeling…to stop…_

He slowly closed his eyes and fell asleep shortly after.

Yuu was still running his fingers through his hair.

 _It's really…soft…Don't know why but… I… really like that..._

He couldn't describe what he was feeling in that moment but…it wasn't an unpleasant feeling. Although it was a strange feeling, he liked it.

He just couldn't stop and continued for several minutes.

… _What am I even doing?_

He let go of his hair, still with a slight blush on his face.

 _I-I just wondered how his hair feels like. Nothing more._

He could hear Mika's soft breathing.

… _Fortunately he's asleep. If he knew about that…I could never face him again…_

He stayed awake a little while longer, thinking about how to sneak out again in the morning. After all he wasn't actually allowed to even be here. Shinoa had helped him to get in and he actually planned to leave as soon as he made sure Mika was fine. But he didn't think it would turn out like that.

 _Damn… If I get caught I'm in big trouble…and Shinoa, too…But I don't regret it. He needed me, so… of course I would do anything. Even though it did turn out like this and I probably won't find any sleep tonight and-_

Suddenly he felt Mika hugging him tighter. Yuu looked at him.

"Mika?"

He didn't get a response. Mika was still sleeping and had hugged him unknowingly. He watched him for a few seconds.

… _It's not about sleeping better like that, is it? It's about…not being alone… All those years… He must have been so alone…Why didn't he say anything? Why didn't he just say:_

" _I don't want to be alone. I want you to stay with me."?_

 _He's so…stubborn. Always was. Never…thought at himself first… Never seemed sad. Always laughed…and smiled…Always… seemed like he's not afraid of anything. But the truth is that…he's afraid of being alone more than anything, isn't it?_

 _It's the first time he… showed that…_

He felt him hugging him even tighter.

"…Don't worry. I'm not going anywhere."

He said quietly while looking to the ceiling.

"…Not without you."

He added after a short pause.

As if hearing him, Mika lessened the embrace a little.

 _At least he doesn't seem to have nightmares._

Yuu realized that it got more and more difficult for him to keep his eyes open.

 _I'm tired… First time tonight… Guess I got finally used to this._

He looked at Mika for a few seconds.

… _Somehow… It feels a lot more comfortable now… Well, it wasn't really that uncomfortable but… It made me feel strange. Restless. Can't describe it… I didn't know what to think of it… Never had that kind of feeling before… But…I…guess I don't mind that feeling…anymore… It doesn't feel…so bad…it…_

He slightly blushed.

… _actually feels…nice…_

He closed his eyes.

… _I'm starting to feel strange again… Maybe I get sick…I never get sick though… I guess I'm just tired… I hope…I find…some sleep…_

After a few minutes he was finally able to fall asleep.


	2. Our fragile precious world

Three weeks had passed since Mika and Yuu spent that unusual night together. Mika's nightmares had stopped since then and he was acting rather normal, even though he still kept his distance from the other humans, except from Yuu.

It was already deep in the night as Yuu heard someone knocking on the door of his room in the base of Nagoya. As he opened the door he was quite astonished to find Mika standing in front of him.

"…"

"…"

"…What are you doing here?"

"…Can I sleep in here tonight?"

"What? Why? I thought your nightmares had stopped?"

"…They have…"

"Then why do you want to sleep here?"

"…Just... let me sleep here, okay?"

He said avoiding eye contact.

"I can't. If they find out that you left your room and slept here, we're in big trouble."

 _And I seriously don't want it to turn out like the last time we shared a bed…_

Mika looked at him sceptically.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just wondered since when you worry about getting in trouble. You're usually the one causing trouble."

"Shut up."

"Don't worry. Your little Friend said that it's okay for tonight."

"Little Friend? You mean Shinoa?"

"Whatever her name was."

"Don't tell me you still don't trust her?"

"I'm trusting no one of these humans."

Yuu sighed. He could understand that he didn't want to trust them because they used him but he didn't quite understand why he didn't trust Shinoa and the others even though they're the only ones who aren't afraid of him because he's a vampire.

But this wasn't the moment to think about that. He still had to think about a way to convince him that he couldn't sleep in his room tonight.

"Mika, listen. You can't sleep here."

"Why not?"

"Because you have to stay in your own room. And even if Shinoa was appointed as your supervisor and allowed you to leave your room, if someone else from the Hiiragi's finds out about that then I don't know what they're going to do with us."

"They never said something about leaving that room. As long as I don't run away, they don't care where I sleep. They never checked if I stayed in there."

Yuu had to admit that they really never said something about sleeping in a particular room. But still…He had the feeling that he wouldn't find sleep if he allowed him to stay with him for tonight.

"And? Can I sleep here tonight?"

Yuu thought about it for a moment.

 _Well…it can't get worse than last time…_

"Alright. But first you tell me the real reason."

"For what?"

"The reason why you want to sleep here."

"…"

"If you don't tell me I won't let you stay here tonight."

"…I…"

He avoided his gaze.

"…just want to."

"That's not reason enough."

"…"

Yuu looked at him for a few seconds and saw this sad expression on his face and in his eyes he rarely see on him.

"Fine, come in."

Mika looked at him in surprise.

"Huh?"

"I said "come in" "

"But…Just now you-"

"I changed my mind, okay? And besides… If we're standing here any longer we're only attract attention."

He said turning around and walking into his room. Mika still stood there for a moment in silence before following him and closing the door behind him.

The bed wasn't especially made for two so Yuu had to make some space for him by lying on the right side of the bed.

"Don't use too much spa-"

Before he could finish his sentence Mika laid on top of him with his head on his chest.

"…Didn't you promise you wouldn't do that kind of thing again?!"

Yuu asked angrily while looking at him.

"I did."

"And?!"

"You're a nice pillow."

He said jokingly.

Yuu sighed. As he was about to say something about how it was still difficult to sleep like that, Mika suddenly lifted his head from his chest again.

"…Sorry. I was just joking. I just wanted to tease you a little. I know you can't sleep like that…I'm just…going to sleep beside you."

He said avoiding eye contact. As he was about to get down from him Yuu suddenly grabbed him by his wrist.

"Lay down."

"Huh?"

Mika looked at him in surprise.

" "I can sleep better like that" ,right? Lay down."

He couldn't believe that he was serious. Not after complaining so much on that night three weeks ago.

"…I-I really don't need to-"

"I don't mind."

"But-"

"I. Don't. Mind."

He said looking at him. Mika looked into his green eyes for a moment seeing that he was serious. Yuu let go of his wrist and he laid down again without saying anything.

Yuu knew he lied as he said he was just joking.

Mika just didn't want him to feel uncomfortable but didn't want to tell him that. He was afraid that he would feel bad and would force himself to pretend he wouldn't mind, that's why he lied.

But Yuu always knew when he was lying.

He really didn't mind sleeping like that again. He already got used to it and as long as it made him happy he really didn't mind at all.

 _At least he doesn't have his arms wrapped around me this time…_

They remained silent for a while. Yuu tried to fall asleep while Mika was…thinking. He thought about that night three weeks ago. He just couldn't get it out of his mind.

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"Hm?"

"…"

"What is it?"

He asked looking at him. Mika wasn't sure if he should tell him or not. He was afraid of his reaction.

"Mika?"

"…You know, I…was…awake…"

"What?"

He didn't understand what he meant by that.

"What do you mean you were awake? I don't get it."

"…"

"What do you mean, Mika?"

Mika knew that he wouldn't let up anymore and that he had to tell him.

"…When…you came to me…because of my nightmare…three weeks ago…After I promised you…I wouldn't say anything to that girl…or to someone else…You thought that I…was asleep…I wasn't…"

"Mika, I really don't know what you mean. "

He didn't answer him anymore. Yuu was just confused.

 _Can't he be more accurate? Of course I knew he was awake. I talked to him after all…_

He tried to remember all that happened that night.

 _We talked, he fell asleep on me, he woke up and didn't want to get down from me, we argued a little, I gave in, I noticed that I really couldn't sleep like that after all, I tried to tell him that and then-_

Suddenly it came to his mind what he could have meant with "I was awake". He turned bright red.

 _Don't tell me he meant THAT?!_

Mika noticed how he tensed up and assumed that he knew now what he meant.

"…Do you…remember?"

He asked hesitantly.

"W-w-why didn't you say anything?!"

"…"

"Mika!"

"I…"

He turned slightly red as he remembered how nice his touch felt.

"…was…really tired. I just…accepted it."

There was an awkward silence between them. Yuu felt really uncomfortable because of the whole situation and really didn't know what to say anymore. He just wanted to forget that it ever happened.

Mika waited for him to say something. He knew from the start that he wouldn't deal well with it. But… He still wanted to tell him.

After a while he decided to break that silence.

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"What?"

He could tell from his voice that he must still be angry because he hadn't told him earlier. He absolutely didn't want to make him even angrier.

"…"

Yuu sighed.

"What is it?"

He asked in a much friendlier way than before.

"…"

"Come on, tell me."

"…"

"I'm not angry, okay? Tell me."

"…Could you…do that…again?"

Yuu instantly regretted that he urged him to tell him as he heard that question.

"Why?!"

He asked angrily. He didn't mean to. But he was so embarrassed by his question that he couldn't help it.

"…Because…"

He hesitated for a few seconds before he continued.

"…I… can sleep better like that."

"…"

Mika didn't hear a single word from him anymore for a while. He didn't know if he was still angry and just didn't want to talk to him anymore or if he was ignoring him right now. But he also couldn't find the right words to say to him.

… _I know I shouldn't have asked him that but… I couldn't help it… he must be angry because of that… But I-_

"Were you serious?"

He heard Yuu suddenly asking. Mika lifted his head from his chest to look at him.

"Huh?"

He gave him a questioning look.

Even though Yuu looked to the side he could still see that he was slightly blushing.

"…That question before…Were you serious?"

Mika looked at him for a few seconds.

… _He's…blushing…I've…never seen him like that before…_

"…Yeah."

He responded quietly.

"…No joking…this time?"

"…No."

"…"

Neither of them said anything. Mika was still looking at him. Somehow he couldn't avert his gaze from him. He didn't know why but…he was fascinated of this side he'd never seen on him before.

… _Why do I…feel so strange…seeing him…like that?_

"What?"

Yuu asked annoyed by his gaze.

Mika looked at him for a few seconds before saying:

"…Your face is all red."

"Understandable, when you're asking for something like that!"

"So…"

He gave a small laugh.

"You're blushing because of me?"

He asked with a grin on his face.

"S-s-shut up!"

He stuttered.

"Now you're even redder…"

"Could you finally lay down again?!"

Mika laughed at his reaction. He really loved to see him getting worked up like that. After a few seconds he did what he was told to do.

 _At least he's not angry anymore. Even though I… really wished he-_

Suddenly he could feel his touch on his forehead.

Yuu carefully brushed some of his hair out of his face, playing with some of the strands.

… _It's…still as soft as…last time…_

Every now and then Mika could feel his cold fingers lightly touching his forehead. He thought that it felt really nice since his face started to feel extremely warm from his touch.

… _My heart is…pounding like crazy again…even more…than last time…_

Yuu let up from his forehead and began to run his fingers through his hair even slower than last time.

Mika closed his eyes and exhaled deeply, enjoying every second of it.

Yuu felt how he relaxed more and more with each passing moment.

… _He…really enjoys this, huh?_

 _Damn…My face is getting warm again… It's…even worse than last time… Is it because I know he's awake this time?_

Neither of them said anything. Yuu, because he was way too embarrassed to say something in that moment and Mika, because he enjoyed this silence between them.

Yuu was glad that he couldn't see his face right now since it was even redder than before. But he felt very uneasy because Mika didn't say anything.

… _I can't stand this silence… It makes me extremely nervous when he's so quiet…Can't he…just talk about something?_

"You…aren't cold, are you?"

He asked trying to find something to talk about.

"…No…You're pretty warm…"

He answered quietly.

"…"

 _Great. This didn't make anything better._

As Yuu tried to think about something else they could talk about his thoughts were interrupted by Mika's soft voice:

"…You know, I…I lied…"

"Huh?"

"…Earlier you asked me why… I didn't say anything back then…"

"And?"

"…I lied. It wasn't because I was too tired… It was because…I… didn't want you to…stop…"

"…"

"…And also the reason why I wanted you to do that again…I told you that I…could sleep better like that…"

"…"

"…It…wasn't because of that…It was because it…it feels nice."

"…"

"…I…like it…"

 _Even though it gives me this strange feeling and makes my heart beating like hell…_

"I…really…like it."

"…"

"Hey…Yuu-Chan?"

"…"

"…Are you listening?"

"…"

 _He's angry…_

"…I'm sorry for lying. It's just I…was afraid…that you would refuse… if I had told you…the truth…"

"…"

Mika could still feel his fingers running through his hair. He didn't stop, not even for a second. He actually expected him to stop right away when he told him that he lied. But he didn't. Yuu just didn't respond, and he was starting to feel bad.

"I know it was selfish of me but… It really did feel nice…Even now…"

"…"

"…I even don't know…why it feels so nice…or…why…having you around…calms me down so much…"

"…"

"…It's…always like this…when I'm with you…"

"…"

He opened his eyes.

"…Hey, Yuu-Chan…you know, I…"

A smile appeared on his face.

"…I…love…being with you…more…than anything else."

Mika whispered but he didn't get a response. The moment he finished his sentence he could feel that his hand stopped instantly to play with his hair.

… _He must still be angry because I didn't told him the truth right away… I really do feel sorry for that but…I just couldn't tell him._

"I'm really sorry Yuu-Chan. Don't be angry, okay?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan?"

"…"

He was about to lift his head to look at him but was stopped by Yuu who was keeping his head down.

"Don't you dare lift your head right now!"

Even if he said that in a commanding voice, Mika could also hear slight panic in it.

 _Why-_

He wondered why Yuu sounded so panic just now but as he laid there on him in complete silence he found out why or rather…he heard why.

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"…What?!"

"…Your heart… is beating pretty fast…"

"…"

He didn't want him to notice. He told him not to lift his head so he wouldn't see that he was blushing like crazy right now because of what he said to him. After a few seconds he somewhat recovered from his embarrassment.

"…Sorry…Don't know…how to stop that…"

"…I don't mind…It's…calming…"

Mika said quietly while closing his eyes again enjoying the sound of his heart.

He loved listening to his heartbeat. Even though it was unusual fast, he liked it… because it matched his own in that moment.

Yuu exhaled deeply. He didn't even notice that he was holding his breath for quite a while.

 _It's the first time tonight I'm glad he's quiet…_

" _I like it."_

…

" _I really like it."_

… _It's…not like I would…dislike it… It's just… I don't know. I don't know…why I like it…_

" _I love being with you more than anything else."_

… _Maybe…Maybe it's because…it's him… Maybe I…just like to be with him…like this…_

… _Damn. My heart won't stop racing… I really don't know what's more embarrassing: That his words can make it act like this or the fact that he can hear that…_

" _It's calming."_

… _Why the hell do I have to remember all his words right now?!_

"Yuu-Chan, you're blushing right now, aren't you?"

He heard him suddenly asking, pulling him out of his thoughts.

"Nonsense! I-I'm not b-blushing!"

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not!"

Before Yuu could even react Mika had lifted his head from his chest and looked at him. As he saw his red face he smiled at him.

"See? I was right."

"…Shut up."

He murmured while avoiding eye contact.

"Saying all these embarrassing things…What else did you expect?!"

"It's just way too easy to get you flustered, that's all."

"You're one to talk. You never blush!"

"…Then… why don't you try?"

"Huh?!"

"Come on, Yuu-Chan. It's your turn now. Say something embarrassing."

"No. Way. In. Hell."

"Why not?"

"Why should I?!"

"Because then we would be even."

"Go to sleep already."

Yuu said annoyed.

"That's mean Yuu-Chan."

He pouted.

Yuu knew he wouldn't let up no matter what he would say.

"Fine. You win. If you're quiet then."

He tried to think about something to tell him, but nothing came to his mind.

… _Exactly what does he want to hear from me? I'm not like him. I can't say…something like that out of the blue._

"And?"

Mika asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"…I really don't know what you want to hear."

"Then…can I ask you something?"

"I don't mind."

"Everything is fine?"

"If that makes you happy."

Mika looked at him for a few seconds, before giving him a warm smile.

"…How do you feel about me?"

He asked quietly.

"Huh?!"

"I already told you how I feel about you, didn't I?"

"That's-"

" _I love being with you more than anything else."_

"…"

"What about you?"

"…"

He didn't know what to say to that. He felt driven into a corner with that question.

 _What kind of question is that?! I can't answer that!_

After a few seconds Mika burst out laughing.

"You really fell for that, didn't you?"

Yuu only looked at him in confusion.

"I'm sorry, Yuu-Chan. It was just a joke. I just couldn't help it. You should have seen your face just now."

He managed to say despite of his laughing.

"…"

"I'm sorry. It's just… I really couldn't resist."

"…Really funny."

He said with a slight angry voice.

"Don't be angry, okay? I'm really sorry."

He said still laughing. He didn't notice that Yuu was staring at him.

… _I…rarely see him laughing like that…It's like…back then…when we were kids…_

He caught himself smiling at him.

… _His smile…is always so…contagious. It… always was… That's one of the reasons… why I… always liked…to be with him…_

" _I love being with you more than anything else."_

…

" _How do you feel about me?"_

…

Slowly Mika recovered from his laughing fit. He noticed that he was stared at by Yuu.

"What?"

" _How do you feel about me?"_

"…"

He avoided eye contact with him.

" _I already told you how I feel about you, didn't I?"_

"…"

"Yuu-Chan."

As he heard him saying his name with the same voice like when they were kids he looked at him again.

"What is it?"

He asked, smiling warmly at him. The same smile he had when they were kids. The smile he missed all those years.

" _What about you?"_

"…You're…"

He looked into his eyes for a few seconds before turning his head shyly to the side to hide his embarrassment.

"…The best that ever happened in my life…"

Yuu said quietly. After some time he started to feel very uneasy because he didn't answer at all.

… _Come on, say something…you…can even laugh at me…just…don't be quiet like that…_

He hesitantly looked over to him. Mika looked at him in surprise with a crimson red face, matching the colour of his eyes. He never saw him like that before. Yuu could feel his own face getting hot and quickly turned away again.

After a few minutes of silence Mika asked hesitantly:

"…Say…Were…you serious…just now?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan?"

"…"

"…Were you serious?"

"…"

Minutes passed but Yuu could still feel his gaze on him. He know he couldn't avoid answering that question but he was too embarrassed to get a word out, so he just nodded.

"…Why?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan."

"…"

"Tell me why."

"…"

"Please… I want to know…"

Yuu never heard him begging like that before. He sighed and looked at him again.

"…Back then…Eight years ago. I… had nothing left. My parents abandoned me, calling me a demon child…trying to kill me… No one wanted me and I… had nothing to return to anymore. I…felt so alone… So unwanted…from everyone. I felt like…like a monster.

You were the first who treated me like a human again.

You gave me all I ever wanted. You gave me a family. A home. Warmth. You gave me everything. Without…ever expecting something in return. You didn't care at all that they had called me a demon child. You still wanted me. No matter how many times I tried to push you away…You never left me alone. You were always… there for me. And…I know I've always acted like it's annoying me but…the truth is I was…happy about it. Really… really… happy. I always enjoyed having you around me.

I'm sorry I never told you how much it meant to me…that you did all this for me. How glad I was that I had you. How happy I am…to have you as my family…That I…would never trade you for anything in the world.

Without you I…I wouldn't be here now. It's all because of you that I…that I still live. I owe you my life, Mika.

You saved me. So, so many times. Eight years ago…and four years ago, too. It has always been you saving me.

…Thank you."

They looked into each other's eyes in silence. Mika didn't know what to say to that. He was at a loss for words and just stared at him.

It really was a joke earlier. He just wanted to tease him a little with that question. He never expected an answer from him. And he also didn't expect him to express his feelings so honestly. He never seemed the type for that.

After a few seconds Yuu gave him a warm smile, reaching out his hand and slowly brushed some of his hair out of his face. As he looked into his eyes all he could see was…himself.

"Your face is all red."

He said with a small laugh, trying to hide his own embarrassment in that moment.

"…Mhm"

Mika murmured while laying down again, still thinking about his words.

… _I…never expected him…to answer that question…It…was just a joke…I didn't really mean that…But he still-_

Suddenly he could feel his touch on his hair again.

"…Hey…Does it…still feel nice?"

"…Yeah…even more…than last time…"

He said quietly while closing his eyes.

They didn't say anything for a long time. Yuu didn't mind that silence. It didn't make him nervous anymore. He…enjoyed it.

Neither of them needed to say anything and they didn't need to see each other's faces either. All they needed was the feeling that they were close to each other.

They lost all sense of time in that moment. Both of them felt like they were the only ones left in the world.

No humans.

No vampires.

Only the two of them.

They just forgot everything else around them. It just didn't matter to them.

"Hey…Are you asleep?"

Yuu asked quietly after a while.

"…No…Not yet…"

"Say… the reason you came here tonight…You…didn't want to be alone, right?"

Mika slowly opened his eyes again.

 _How…_

"…"

"You're pretty easy to read. I told you already, didn't I? I always know when something's wrong with you. You don't show up here in the middle of the night without a good reason. "

"…"

 _So…he knew it from the start, huh?_

"Why didn't you tell me right away?"

"…Didn't want to."

"Why? You really could have told me."

"…because it's childish…"

He whispered. Yuu didn't understand him.

"Huh?"

"It's childish."

He said a bit louder.

"I'm not a kid anymore who needs someone by his side to fall asleep. All those years I was alone. All the time. I'm used to that…"

 _But it still hurts… Back then it wasn't a big deal but now… Why do I break down so easily now?_

"It's not childish, Mika. It's okay to feel lonely from time to time."

"…"

Yuu sighed.

"If you're lonely then say so. Then I do something about it. You know I wouldn't let you down, no matter what."

"…"

"You're way too stubborn…"

He murmured.

"Being able to say that you…love…being…with…me…"

He could feel how he turned slightly red as he repeated his words.

"But not able to say you're lonely? Sometimes I really don't get you."

"…"

"…It's painful, isn't it?"

"…Yeah."

"Then say it. You're usually the one who is better at expressing his feelings, not me. So…do it."

His words brought a smile to Mika's face.

… _And usually I'm the one worrying about you…I guess…Some things really changed since then, huh?_

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"Hm?"

"…Don't…don't leave me alone, okay?"

"Of course not. We're family after all, aren't we?"

"…Yeah."

… _Back then…he never called us family…but now…he changed…so much…_

He slowly closed his eyes.

"…You…really changed."

He murmured.

"Huh?"

"…"

"Hey, what did you say? I couldn't hear you."

"…"

He waited but didn't get an answer.

 _Is he…sleeping? He's falling asleep very quickly, huh?_

Yuu noticed that he also felt very tired He closed his eyes but didn't stop playing with his hair.

Mika wasn't asleep. He just enjoyed the silence more than talking, so he pretended to have fallen asleep since Yuu would talk all night long if he knew he was still awake.

After a while he couldn't feel his hand running through his hair anymore.

 _Did he fall asleep?_

Mika lifted his head and looked at him. He really had fallen asleep.

 _So he can sleep like that after all, huh?_

" _If you're lonely then say so."_

…" _Lonely", huh?_

 _Maybe…it wasn't because…I was lonely…Maybe I…just wanted…to be…with him…_

 _I don't know…_

… _It's funny…being with him…and I feel comfortable…really comfortable…_

… _When I' with him I…forget…even if only for a moment…that I'm a vampire…_

 _I don't know why…I'm feeling like this… only with him…_

He looked at his sleeping face for a few seconds before he smiled at him and laid down again.

"Yuu-Chan? You know I'm…also happy…that you're my family. That you…saved me…so I… can be with you again.

Thank you."

He said quietly while closing his eyes and falling asleep to the sound of his heart.


End file.
